Journeys of a Wandering Wordsmith
Journey with me on my blog!
The Life of a Solo Traveling Boy
The life of a solo traveler is oh so solo: I wait solo in the airport, I sit solo on the flight, I drive solo in my rental car, I eat solo at campgrounds and in all restaurants (ie, In-N-Out four times), I walk solo down city streets, I hike solo down long silent trails, and I camp solo for longer, silenter nights. The life of a solo traveling boy can be oh so lonely, and also oh so glorious.
Let's Get Distracted and Lonely in Las Vegas
Is it a magical experience or humanity’s death knell? Will more and more glowing screens in our pockets and watches and eyewear and vehicles and living rooms and workplaces and city streets and hotels and casinos and concert venues be our ultimate doom? Will we start over one day, looking back with incredulity that we ever inundated our lives with this much distraction? These countless screens and polarizing social media that does more to disconnect us from one another and tear us away from this present moment?
Journey of No Distractions: An Intro to BiGTRiP V
This year for BiGTRiP V, I flew to Las Vegas to rent a car and drive all over Utah and eastern Nevada to visit six national parks — a new personal record for park visits in such a span of time. I booked this trip several months ago without giving much thought to some logistics – namely, that mid-August temperatures in this region would top out at 105 Fahrenheit. Oops. No matter, I reassured myself; I'd just treat this year's BiGTRiP as a literal wilderness journey. This year, more than any other, I would escape to the undistracted wilderness and return to civilization a different man.
The Joys and Challenges of Traveling Solo Across Alaska
Here's a multi-faceted realization I've found in recent years: I absolutely love to travel solo — and most people absolutely do not. Traveling solo doesn't daunt me; indeed, it ignites something primal and wondrous in me. Comparing myself to how most other people travel, though, is another mountain: Why are they not like me? Why am I not at all like them?
Alaska, At Last
Back in 2020, in that early sliver of what was sure to be a promising year, I started making preliminary plans to visit Alaska. Known widely as "The Last Frontier" and my own final frontier, too. I’d traveled to 49 states since touching down in Hawaii a couple years prior, and it was time, at last, to conquer them all. Well. We all know why that trip didn’t happen. And it’s been plaguing me ever since. Three and a half years of longing for Alaska. Until now. I refuse to long any longer.
Am I a Writer?
At the end of the day – or, rather, at each day's sacred start – despite all the excuses or hard realities, I must ask myself this question: am I a writer? Do I still self-identify as someone who writes? Because if I'm not doing that regularly – writing – am I, by definition, still a writer?
2021: Wasted
I look back on this year and can't help but feel the wince of apparent wasted time. The lethargy of a lingering pandemic, the apathy of my creative soul, and the heavy, sometimes brutal work of ministry. Of holding less and less tightly to relationships – even if it means letting some go. My 34 years of life feels increasingly like a bell curve. Isolation and worthlessness filling the lowly cracks of my adolescence; a rising wave of optimism for my twenties, filled with new friends and adventures aplenty; and a steady decline of ambition into my mid-thirties.
Do You See Me?
I did what You asked, I built what You told me to build, and it literally collapsed. So now what? Are You even there anymore? I feel the strain in Nathanael's voice. The wavering. A desperate pleading to be seen.
This Monster Needs to Die
"The Social Dilemma" has some cheesy, dramatic elements to it, sure. A little overkill at times. But I do recommend everyone see the film. After watching it, I don't necessarily want to delete all my social media accounts, as I do view social media as part of my "job," so to speak. However, I do significantly want to change my approach to social media: how much I use it, when I use it, etc. Especially in relation to my "real-life" relationships without screens attached.
Change, Leave!
I want to leave my usual ways of changing, leaving. Of always running from things, even if I'm also running to new ones. Of masking my loneliness and shame with adventures and Instagram posts. I want to continue learning to stay for a change, staying for change.
The God Who Won't Speak Back
Six months into a pandemic, three into an autoimmune disease, my outlook feels more than a little frantic right now. Constantly on my phone or laptop and craving some sense of connection or novelty. A momentary break in the loneliness, the stuckness, and the waiting. Sometimes the break comes. Often it doesn't. Often I am greeted with silence. Thick, dark. Empty.
Break the Silent Madness
Sometimes the blogs come easily; sometimes they do not. Sometimes I feel as if I've nothing to say; other times, I have too much material to choose from. Sometimes it's all safe stuff; sometimes it's riskier. Take politics, for one. Oh the riskiness. Is that shudder from the wind or within? I'm finding it increasingly difficult these days to remain silent about politics while the insanity rages.
Jesus Year
In 2017, when I was 30, I quit my full-time job at a boarding school to pursue more of Your Other Brothers. It's work, certainly, editing blogs and producing regular streams of podcasts and videos, but it's also a lot of ministry. Responding to emails from new readers. Engaging with supporters at coffee shops. Planning weekly digital gatherings and yearly "real-life" retreats. Am I comparing myself to Jesus, you're asking? Why, of course I am. But shouldn't we all?
