November: I Kinda Really Hate You

I hate November.

Those who know me best know this isn't much of a secret. Ever since my dog died six years ago this month, I've dreaded these 30 particular days of the year.

Truthfully, I can’t remember experiencing a good November since 2006 attacked. I always anticipate strife and struggle and regret and remorse for this month. And basically, that’s what I get every year.

I’m desperate to change my mindset this November.

November: The Journal Mission

Over the last month of "re-relocating" to California, I've not journaled too often. Normally I journal at least three or four times a week, and yet over the last month I've only journaled three or four times altogether.

Five days into this horrid month, I've started reversing that trend.

In these early days of November, I've been journaling every morning and evening — usually as my first task waking up and my last before falling asleep. I'm writing more honestly and bluntly than ever before, and I’m hopeful for a better November than I've seen in over half a decade.

Writing is a vehicle of discovery for me.

Others have confirmed this for me, and I certainly realize it myself. I've often journaled some situation onto paper and suddenly life makes much more sense. Hope becomes easier to realize.

I'm certainly searching for answers right now.

November: The Summer Search

Even though I just re-returned to California, I'm considering many plans for my life beyond this year.

I’m not completely where I need to be with work and finances, but with my present situation slowly working itself out, I can’t help looking ahead. Striving to find where God would have me this summer and beyond.

Because I tutor for a living, summers are always a mystery.

Two summers ago I adventured to Milwaukee to work for this awesome youth missions organization called YouthWorks.

Then last summer, I journeyed to the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina to work at a boys camp.

I've wept my soul dry at both places. I've caught beautiful glimpses into eternity at each one too.

I've grown enormously — as a Christian and as a person.

I’m currently 25, will be 26 next summer, and I feel like God has one more adventurous summer in store before steering my life in a more definite direction.

For summer 2013, I've considered returning either to YouthWorks or the North Carolina boys camp.

But I just don’t know yet.

I could also pursue an entirely different camp atmosphere.

I should probably journal more about this dilemma.

November: The Future Search

I've also been pondering my future beyond the summer.

I have a good friend currently teaching English overseas, and I've started wondering whether my wandering self would enjoy such an adventure.

I believe I would.

I've basically lived in every corner of this country, so why not expand my horizons to the rest of the planet for a year or two?

Without pursuing an expensive TEFL certification, my best option for teaching abroad appears to be — are you ready? — South Korea.

Last Saturday was "Korea Day," and I researched maps and FAQs and YouTube videos for hours.

It’s a legitimate option for next fall, but one I’d need to start preparing for soon if I’m serious.

In many ways, I worry leaving America for a year could become too convenient an excuse for adventure masquerading as escape.

I just returned to southern California last month, and I’m already fantasizing about leaving again?

Before returning here, I felt a distinct call to practice staying put for a while.

To plug in.

Invest.

I want to be where God wants me to be.

I desire that more than anything.

If I've learned anything over the last quarter-century, it's that God knows what He’s doing with my life far better than I do.

He's writing the story.

Not me.

Whether that story includes a year teaching English in totally random Korea remains to be seen.

November: The Newsletter

Within the next couple weeks, I intend to start a newsletter for this blog — and with it, a big announcement.

Like, huge.

Sign up when it launches, and you’ll get the DL on all the goings-on in my life.

Winds are blowing.

Trees are moving.

Life is changing.

I have no idea where this breeze will carry me in a year’s time, but that’s the thrill of entrusting God with the story of my life.

While I'm still young and single and searching for purpose and belonging, the entire world may very well be my oyster.

Hopefully November won't be so bad this year.

Ever teach abroad? Know somebody who has? Ever visit Korea? Tell me a story.