That Time I Stood Up to a Homophobic, Transphobic Bully – Also, a Pastor

A storyteller I follow refers to his growth in the numerical unit of past iterations of himself. “That was eight Robs ago,” he’d say of himself, back when he used to believe one thing or behave a totally different way. I’ve started viewing my own growth in this vein, thinking about all the Toms that have existed in this singular Tom, particularly with regard to this active-passive dynamic. My passivity has run especially true in matters of relational conflict. Given the option to fight a conflict or flight a conflict (please excuse my incorrect usage of a noun as a verb in the name of symmetry), I will flight nine times out of ten. Ah, but then there’s always that one instance…

The Cost of New Creation (2024 Will Hurt)

Sometimes we speak things out, and they become true. Like we’re wizards spinning magic into this world; our wands as our pens and mouths, created by a Creator with the same capacity to write and speak and do. Create. And then other times we declare bold things for our stories that do not come true. These goals, these new stories, these fuller versions of ourselves – well, they don’t form as we hoped, if even they form at all.

Everybody Needs an Uncle Pat

I became an uncle six years ago, and Uncle Pat has always been my template for uncling. Because everyone needs an Uncle Pat. Someone to remember them on their birthdays, buy them Slurpees, ask about their lives, and drive them around on special journeys. If my nieces or future nephews ever have anything positive to say about their Uncle Tom, it will be because Uncle Pat showed me how to uncle well.

Am I a Writer?

At the end of the day – or, rather, at each day’s sacred start – despite all the excuses or hard realities, I must ask myself this question: am I a writer? Do I still self-identify as someone who writes? Because if I’m not doing that regularly – writing – am I, by definition, still a writer?

The Year I Don’t Wanna Look Back On (Again)

I don’t want to look back on this year. Who would? This year was awful. This year made no sense. Much like its evil stepsister year before, this year isn’t one I want to relive. Like, ever. And yet we are doomed to repeat history if we do not learn from it. It’s true of societies, and it’s true of individuals. As much as I want to forget most of 2021, I also want to learn from 2021 – desperately. The missteps. The failures. The doom. The gloom. What a tragedy for me – for you, for all of us – to enter 2022 or 2023 or 2087 and not learn a thing from 2021.

Our New Alivelihood

In one sense, how convenient for a pandemic to occur in the year 2020-21 and not 1920-21: for many of us to work remotely and stay “connected,” at least in some sense of the word. But I’ve felt the strain of not experiencing a dimension beyond screens on screens on screens. Experiencing the dimensions of humanity and creation interwoven again. Last week, I saw humans with hats and cameras and boots and smiles walking all around me from the blues of Lake Tahoe to the beige of Death Valley. Humans: exploring, basking. Like we were ever ago made to do, like we evermore shall do.

Older Than Jesus

Growing up, Jesus always seemed so much older than me. Not like eighty or ninety or a hundred “old,” but when you’re only eight or nine, thirty years old feels a hundred years away. But now to have lived the ages of 30 to 33, I have a new perspective on the life of Jesus. Turns out he was way younger – and way stronger – than I’d thought. I’ve had a tumultuous three years; perhaps the most shaping three years of my life. Again, as a storyteller, I can’t help drawing parallels with Jesus’ thirties.

Do You See Me?

I did what You asked, I built what You told me to build, and it literally collapsed. So now what? Are You even there anymore? I feel the strain in Nathanael’s voice. The wavering. A desperate pleading to be seen.

Beyond the Rot of This River

I’ve become more justice-minded in this year of isolation – to do something with this faith of mine. To borrow a vivid example from Ronald Rolheiser’s “The Holy Longing”: to not just retrieve dead bodies from the river, but to go upstream and find the source of all this death.

5 Years With a Blue Ridge Home

Come whimsy or mayhem, for five years running the road keeps leading me back here to the Blue Ridge. However many nights I’ve actually slept in a bedroom here, it is indeed starting to feel something like home. I stared at the hills the other day and prayed, “God, please don’t let it ever grow old.”

To Watch the Storms of My Sadness

Gluggavedur, “window-weather,” is the notion of watching a storm from afar. Of being safely indoors, warm and secure, while the storm brews on the horizon. Lightning, swirling clouds, and rain – all seen through a pane of glass. The concept can be taken metaphorically, too, to separate yourself from your swirling emotions within. Of creating a space between you and the storms: sadness, anger, stress, fear, etc. Of not ignoring these hard feelings, but being aware of them, watching them from the other side of the glass…until they eventually pass.

If you could live 2021 over again…what would you do?

2021: the year of doing handstands, juggling, speaking Polish, and (re)learning guitar…with a little extra challenge. Years ago at a Storyline conference from Donald Miller and friends, I learned a new way of looking at resolutions and productivity. Instead of asking yourself, “What do I want to do this year?,” try this: “If I could live this year over again, what would I do?” I’m a month into reliving 2021, and it’s going great. Can’t wait to follow up on these resolutions and more 11 months from now!

What Will I Have Done This Year?

Instead of saying, “What do I want to do this year?” try saying, “What will I have done this year?” It’s a productivity tip I learned from Donald Miller, and I’ve never been more eager to implement this subtle mental tweak for 2021.

Am I Worthy of Your Giving?

Am I really worth your hard-earned dollars? Am I worth your kindness? You say I am, but am I really? I don’t want to waste my money – your money. I don’t want to buy things I don’t “need.” But I also “need” some amount of pleasure and joy. Can I buy a milkshake with your money? What about a new lamp for my studio? I want to make you proud of my journey, however much you’ve contributed to it. I want to be worthy of every cent.

Coming Out to Myself – 14 Years Later

It’s LGBT+ History Month, and October 11th is National Coming Out Day. After pondering this video idea for a few years, now felt like the right time to relive my first coming out – by re-reading the journal entry I wrote at 19 on a raw, tragic night in 2006. I hadn’t looked at these words in 14 years. T’was the night I came out to myself and to God: a same-sex attracted or gay or queer Christian. Soon after this, I’d come out to my parents too.

Change, Leave!

I want to leave my usual ways of changing, leaving. Of always running from things, even if I’m also running to new ones. Of masking my loneliness and shame with adventures and Instagram posts. I want to continue learning to stay for a change, staying for change.

Break the Silent Madness

Sometimes the blogs come easily; sometimes they do not. Sometimes I feel as if I’ve nothing to say; other times, I have too much material to choose from. Sometimes it’s all safe stuff; sometimes it’s riskier. Take politics, for one. Oh the riskiness. Is that shudder from the wind or within? I’m finding it increasingly difficult these days to remain silent about politics while the insanity rages.

These Hills Have Me

I’m not getting out much these days. I used to sprawl all over this city and region, but I’ve become more of a homebody than ever before. But I’m living in my favorite dwelling I’ve ever built for myself, a homier, “Tom-ier” place than anywhere else, complete with maps and globes and buffalo art; early mornings with lighted candles and open windows and blanketed fog amidst the canopy. It feels good to be a body in this home.

Not So Wonderfully Made

I don’t feel wonderfully made right now. My autoimmune disease makes me feel newly flawed. Like my Designer forgot to quality-check my body before He sent me to the womb, apparently knit with this broken strand.

Jesus Year

In 2017, when I was 30, I quit my full-time job at a boarding school to pursue more of Your Other Brothers. It’s work, certainly, editing blogs and producing regular streams of podcasts and videos, but it’s also a lot of ministry. Responding to emails from new readers. Engaging with supporters at coffee shops. Planning weekly digital gatherings and yearly “real-life” retreats. Am I comparing myself to Jesus, you’re asking? Why, of course I am. But shouldn’t we all?

COVID-19: Is it Over Yet? What Does God Want From Us?

It’s been a maddening few weeks, friends. Through all the pandemic shutdowns, distancing, and death, I feel as if God is desiring two distinct things from us. As He always does.

Give Us Tomorrow’s Barabbas

Our entire lives we have wanted to be more present. And now that we’ve been given nothing but buckets upon buckets of the present, we are kicking away the pails and saying, “Give us back our precious longings.” The savior we have anticipated through countless yesterdays is finally here in our midst, and we cry for Barabbas.

Thank You for Being Brave

I’m writing this blog from home. And I never blog from home. Like ever. I have no other choice. Nothing is open. No late-night coffee shops and no early-night coffee shops either, for that matter. Coronavirus has violently disrupted every facet of normalcy. Society’s. My own. Normal Monday evenings aren’t normal Monday evenings anymore. And for God only knows how much longer.

Debt-Free

Before I knew it, YOB was no longer a hobby. It could no longer be treated that way – that is, if I wanted it to grow further. And I did. I knew I could pay off my Juke and be debt-free if I simply kept working at the boarding school through 2017 and maybe a little into 2018. Paying off a 4-year loan in a little over a year was absolutely doable. But that inner beckoning grew louder and stronger.

God Cannot Be

I’m certain that even if I hadn’t been raised in a Christian home (and Christian school with Christian science textbooks) but had this same personality and outlook of the universe, I’d have sooner than later found my way to a God – if not the same one I follow now. The God who I believe is the one and only: creator of untold galaxies and creator of you and me. And yet there are many who cannot wrap their minds around such a contradictory notion – a massive and personal God.

Broken Belonging

Looking back on the last 16 years, I see that “takes too much effort” excuse as an easy out. Digging deeper, I see something else blocking my pursuit of church membership: my self-worth. Surprise, surprise; it’s my single biggest struggle. Am I worthy of church membership? What do I even have to offer the church?

Healthy Rest / Unhealthy Rest

I’m realizing healthy rest bleeds into my productivity. “Healthy productivity” – that’s a thing, too. Not just being productive from a sense of duty, distracting-distracting-distracting your heart, but producing from a well-stewarded overflow. Incorporating rest not just after but into my productivity – this is the magic.

Mortality

It’s there in my consciousness, a shadow sitting in the corner, unmoving. My mortality. Just . . . there. I will die one day, and this is how it’s always been ordained. This is nothing new. Why has it taken me 30+ years to realize this – really realize this? More than ever, I want to make every moment matter. I want to live every day I’ve been given to live. It’s such a crime for anyone to stay settled and never venture out. I cannot bear the thought for myself.

I’ll Never Reach a Million People

More than ever, I long for my financial needs to be fully met so I can invest even more into creating: more time, more energy, more projects, more equipment. And thus even more connection. How nice it would be right now to have a million supporters. Or at least a few hundred thousand. Heck, a thousand. But here’s the thing I desperately need to keep reminding myself. It’s what I’m still learning from the hundreds of blogs, books, podcasts, and videos put out over the last decade. I’ll never reach a million people if I don’t reach the one.

My Name on a Stone

I traveled to Pennsylvania for Christmas, my first trip there since Ahh died this summer. My grandfather’s gravestone wasn’t chiseled until just recently, so this was my first time visiting it. Seeing it. It was the first time I’d ever seen my name on a stone.

This Chasm of Calling

On the one hand, I’m thrilled. I’ve never been more passionate in my calling as a storyteller. And yet on the other hand, the more I discover my God-given passions, talents, and deep gladness, the more burdened grows my soul; the more hungry, my heart. I feel the strain in the disconnect between what I want and what I believe God wants for me and others in this chasm of the not yet.

Ponder Anew

It can be easy for Christians to believe, almost robotically, that God can do anything. That’s what makes God God, right? So, what does it mean to “ponder anew” what God can do? How does one ponder anew the already established notion that an all-powerful God can do — does — all-powerful things?

Anything Mentionable is Manageable

I saw the new Mr. Rogers movie, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” It’s unlike any other movie I’ve seen. A unique story structure, beautiful set design, and phenomenal acting. “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” is a movie that will stick with me for a while. I was teary-eyed the entire way – both from the sheer beauty of this story and its haunting connections to my own.

Pen Strokes and Chisels to the Soul

I’ve grown more in the last two years than the previous ten. More than ever, I feel God’s hand guiding mine like pen strokes while chiseling my soul. A mystical also brutal process.

Sexy Changing in the Staying

Traveling changes a man, certainly. It’s what draws me to the road and the skies, again and again. The blaze of colors to my exterior and interior alike. But staying put changes a man, too, I’m better realizing. It’s not as sexy. Not as readily apparent sometimes.

Good Morning. How Could I Not?

But through it all. Every single day. I have much to be grateful for. Blessings in abundance despite the clouds and gray, here and still coming.

Plot Twisting

My life has featured a lot of plot twists I never saw coming. Especially these last two years. It’s been brutal. It’s also been necessary for the furthering of my story, I now realize. A story that wasn’t going anywhere. Stuck in a sleepy, apathetic comfort.

99% of Toms

I wish to be different than 99% of humanity, yes, but lately I’ve pondered a new concept: what about being different than 99% of Toms? If 99 versions of me would choose to do one thing, do I simply follow along, or do I dare counter with the 1%?

Like a Butterfly in an Aquarium

It sounds lovely to be the butterfly, to have the spotted wings and ventures. But oh the process. The waiting and waiting, the changes upon changes one must first endure. There is no zapping to the butterfly stage. I imagine most of us want to be the butterfly but rarely the change required. And not just a singular change but multiple drastic, awkward, even painful changes.

Itch

I’m itching for home. God, I’m itching for regularity again. I’m itching for therapy and CrossFit and training for a marathon and the same coffee shops and writing my third book and building local friendships and taking Your Other Brothers to bold, new frontiers. I’m itching for this road trip to end.

God See Me

I want more, I want all of it, and yet I also want to rest in the futility of this earthly conquest. I want to wander where I will and when I can, but also to find contentment in the conquest of a single place. I’ve a feeling where that single place will soon emerge, at least for the foreseeable future. But for now. I will wander. I will be purposeful.

Bubble Hopping

Life is often condensed to mountaintop moments or shared “bubble” moments with others. But what if we could be intentional 24/7/365 and make even more bubble moments?

I’m #RunningOut of Hashtags

I’m on the road again! Join me for the next two months as I roam America in search of more of God’s voice. Starting here on Day 9 in a tiny cabin outside Clemson, SC…

When Jesus Slides Into the Shadows

Before you even know it, Jesus slid into the shadows long ago. You thought he was still there. Like he’s always been. Like he always will be…right? But if we don’t intentionally keep Jesus atop our bookshelf…I think the Father is willing to let us turn other pages. To let us wander without for a bit.

“Boy Erased” Response-Response and My New Video Series: “Off the Mark”

After watching “Boy Erased,” I felt compelled to make a one-time video; now, I feel compelled to do this sort of thing more often. Introducing my new video series: “Off the Mark.”Because when we feel so far off the mark, Christ always puts us on it.

Oops, My Readers Are My Friends Now

It’s been a wonderful thing, and it’s been a debilitating thing, all these Internet friends. On the one hand, the Internet has filtered out “real life,” so to speak, connecting me with the people I deeply want to connect with. People with common interests, common sexualities, common faiths, common cross-sections of all these things. And on the other hand, the Internet has totally spoiled “real life.” Real life relationships — or the hapless pursuit of them.

I’ve Never Not Wanted to be Gay. Until Now.

I watched Boy Erased the other night, and it messed me up more than any other movie has. Unlike countless others I’ve encountered over the years, I never attempted ‘praying the gay away’ as a kid and have largely experienced more struggles with my masculinity than my sexuality. Until now.

I Will Stay in This Rubble

I don’t know. I’m in a season of not knowing. Which means I’m doing a lot of listening these days. But I hear the whispers. I’ve been unintentionally heeding them these last 8 months as I’ve turned over stone after stone. I will rummage through this rubble until there are no more boulders or pebbles left to turn.

Nothing Makes Sense (And the C Chord Lingers Still)

I don’t know where this particular tune in time is taking me. I hear a lot of silence right now. Resolution feels far off. The last note lingers, and I want to hear the final sound.

Do Not Calm This Storm

Jesus won’t calm the storm with a single word. His way is a way of work. Of picking up crosses daily. Of lugging said crosses up mountains. Of taking the narrower way of all the broader ways available to my wanderlust.

End of Year Emo Blizzard

As 2018 winds down, I find myself in my most emotionally raw, volatile state of the year, probably ever. The North Carolina skies opened with a blizzard this week, and how I wanted this snowy downpour to cleanse it all away.

A Man of God I Am Not

Upstream, of course. I’ve always been swimming upstream. Against the current. The current of sexuality. The current of introversion. The current of inferiority. The current of separation. The current of brokenness and deficiency. The current of not being quite enough of a man, if even at all. Let alone a man of God.

I Want This Plane to Crash

All we have is this moment. The key is being present. It’s always being present. Not giving more weight to the past or more to the future but just enough weight to all three. Whatever that perfect ratio is, I have no idea. I do know the present must get the largest piece of pie.

City of Macaroons and Broken Dreams

I entered Charlotte with gargantuan hopes. Hopes that wherever I landed after #RunningTo would be the city I’d call home the rest of my life. A city of dreams fulfilled that simultaneously kept adding new ones. I stare at this Queen City skyline with kind of a hopeless sigh. I failed this place.

Gravity Is Pulling You and Me and All of This Down

He is God. He is here. He has shown up. There is nowhere we can go, be it among the Biltmore sunflowers or on a lonely college road, void of God’s presence. Are we blind? Are we just not seeing him?

5 Regrets After 5 Years of Struggle Central

Writing Struggle Central five years ago was absolutely the path God intended for me eons ago. My path as a human, my path as a writer. The gateway to my wildest dreams as an author. Also, a nightmare. A foreign world with implications I’d have never otherwise encountered.

Where (and Why) I’m Wandering Next

Back in the height of my wandering (have I reached the valley yet?), I read a blog about the importance of traveling. I have no idea who wrote it or where the link stands today, but there’s one tip from the post I’ll never forget. I’ve implemented it ever since I read it, and it’s […]

Some Days You Have A Lot. Some A Little. Others Nothing.

Now that Running To has run to Amazon and other online booksellers, I find myself with a lot more free time. More free time to practice guitar and work out. More time to post on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and engage with my following. Engage with my friends. More free time to read. More […]

When Writing a Book Isn’t Worth It

I completed writing my second book in September — a mammoth project three years in the making. For weeks and months and, yes, years, I legitimately wondered if the thing would ever get finished. I faced a lot of demons during the writing of this book: Despair that my epic journey was over, a reality […]

Like a Lost and Groaning Gandalf

I’ve long been drawn to the wise old figures in story — “the mentor,” as the archetype goes. The Yoda crawling around Luke Skywalker’s lunchbox. The Gandalf showing up at Frodo’s round door. I’ve always wanted my own mythical mentor to show up when I least expect it, breaking my tedious present, leading me into […]

Who Am I Now?

Once upon a new year, I promised I’d blog here weekly all year long. I also made a short list of other so-called resolutions, and ten months into this new year I realize I’m only hitting with about 50% success overall. I am so great. At least I still have two months to finish the […]

To be still, yet still moving

I moved recently — four whole doors down to another unit in my complex. It wasn’t ideal, but life rarely is. My roommates and I had hoped to move into a house — an eclectic one with a porch, a balcony, a big yard, tucked into the hills over Asheville, perhaps with a long driveway […]

Old Life and New Life and the Life in Between

My grandfather celebrated his ninetieth birthday last month. Family from coast to coast — West to East and North to South — converged upon Langhorne, Pennsylvania for our biggest family celebration since my grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary in 1998. A lot’s happened in the last two decades. I’ve written previously about the one I call […]

The Best Worst Year in the Blue Ridge

I’m the kind of guy who compares anything to everything: my favorite TV show (Survivor) to my least favorite (The Bachelor), the best month (April) to the worst month (November), the greatest year of my life (2012) to the very worst (2006). I can’t help it. I compare. It’s what I do. It’s why I […]

A Broken Record with Yellow Lines

I traveled to Chattanooga over the weekend for a conference on sexuality in the church (you can read my recap on YOB; another post of mine premiering today). I packed up Jude in a pretty rotten headspace on Friday night, and then I hit the road home for Asheville two days later singing to the Backstreet Boys. […]

Another disaster of a year begins . . .

I hate new years. I hate resolutions. I hate the assumption that just because the calendar changes from one month and one year to the next, the past is wiped clean and anything is possible — well, for about two and a half weeks. And then it’s back to tubs of ice cream and pornography. […]

Why I Hated Blogging Every Day This Month

Before November could unleash her usual dread upon me, I decided I’d take a proactive approach with this month. Blog every day, I thought? Would that do it? Would that do the trick and make me somehow look forward to this month instead of loathe it every day? Some days were better than others. Some […]

Some Days Are Like Gnomes With No Legs

I can’t believe I’ve been blogging every day for four straight weeks now. Like. What? How have I even done this? How have I actually trained myself to sit down for an hour or two every day and simply say whatever came to mind without ever going back and changing what just erupted from my […]

I Peed in the Woods This Morning

Well, I missed a day of blogging. My dreams, dashed. My hopes, crushed. My legacy, tarnished. But I have a good excuse. I took the students on a campout last night, my first overnight excursion on the job, and I couldn’t exactly blog ‘neath the stars. So, I cheated with this Instagram photo yesterday afternoon: […]

You and I Will Be Okay

Earlier this year, I lost my beloved Mitsy to old age and a fuming engine on I-81S. I cried over her (wept, really), I memorialized her, and I spent the next two months of my life walking around Asheville until my sister’s old car became my new car — Des. She’s a 1998 Toyota Corolla, […]

Will the Words Still Come?

Today I’m halfway through my 30-day blogging challenge. It was fun and novel at first, blogging every day. Like I’d put on skinny jeans or a trendy scarf for the first time or decided to “go vegan.” 15 days later, it’s still fun. It’s become automatic that after work every day I come to a […]

I Got Triggered Today

“Weekend Tom” returned to “Weekday Tom” at school today. One kid struggled with recursive sequences. Another kept falling asleep learning about dear sweet Pythagoras and his most beloved theorem. Yet another needed my step-by-step guidance, only to fizzle out of patience by hour’s end. It wasn’t the flashiest of mornings. No inspirational artist studio visits […]

And the Message is Fun

The last two days, I’ve taken our students to the River Arts District here in Asheville to visit with local artists in their studios and even do some painting on canvases and walls alike. It’s rare that I get to go out with the students, as I usually aid them with math or writing in […]

Wandering Wednesday #18: Great Smoky Mountain Railroad

You guys. When on earth was the last time I wandered on a Wednesday with y’all? I can’t even tell you. (I mean, I could just look it up on YouTube — it’s right there — but that’d defeat the purpose of such a hyperbolic statement.) A lot has transpired since I last wandered on […]

Four Seasons Later

I wore a sweater to work the other day. I climbed half-naked out of bed with a shiver and noted the morning temperature a brisk 49 degrees. So, I grabbed a light sweater from my closet — the first time I’ve worn one since March or April. Since I first moved to Asheville. Winter. Spring. Summer. […]

When the New Man Looks Like the Old Man

“If anyone needs prayer, I invite you to speak with someone at the back of the room before you leave our service today. We’d love to pray with you.” I do need prayer, I think to myself from the back row. I need prayer very much. I need freedom from passivity. I need courage. I […]

All We Like Butterflies…

We’ve been raising monarch caterpillars at work for the last month. A woman we affectionately dubbed “The Butterfly Lady” came in with an aquarium full of milkweed and caterpillars the length of your pinky nail — dozens of them. You’d have never noticed them from afar. Most of those poor things died. It wasn’t our fault. Apparently […]

Tradition Doesn’t Have to Suck

Before moving to Asheville six months ago, I ventured into an independent bookstore here with a friend. Malaprop’s, the place is called — a play on “malapropism,” a term for a comedic way of misspeaking. Think Michael Scott of The Office. Said the well-meaning Dunder-Mifflin manager: “I am not one to be truffled with.” Anyway, I’d visited Malaprop’s […]

Why I Share My Story

I launched my first podcast a few weeks ago. I’ve wanted to be an author since first grade show-and-tell, but I never dreamt of being a podcaster — if for no other reason than I hated my voice. Although I suppose not knowing what a “podcast” was until just three years ago is another significant factor. After discovering […]

I Have Nothing to Say About Orlando

I read many tweets in the 48-hour aftermath of the Orlando shooting that claimed fifty lives. One jumped out at me most. It said: Christians: your silence is a deafening roar. I read the tweet, felt sobered by the tweet, grew annoyed by the tweet, and then pondered my own “role” or “responsibility” with regard to Orlando and […]

Staying Through the Hurt

Last week was among my hardest weeks in many weeks. I’d said goodbye to two fantastic Couchsurfing guests, and I endured yet another week of training and work prep as my new organization continues to pass inspections and certifications and acquire total clearance for student admission. Even then, we will acquire students one at a time until we […]

I’ve Never Been More Hopeful and Terrified

Last week I “celebrated” the one-year anniversary of my cross-continental road trip’s conclusion. And by “celebrated,” I mean to say I cried multiple times by day’s end. No dramatic gasping wheezing weeping sessions, but I dabbed my eyes throughout the afternoon and evening as I looked back at some images from the road, including that final one of […]

Goodbye, Charlotte

On March 9, 2015, I concluded a 9-month road trip around the continent with a relocation from southern California to Charlotte, North Carolina. “Why Charlotte?” many people asked, including several Charlotte residents. “It wasn’t my favorite city,” I told plenty. If I wanted to start over in a “favorite city,” I’d be donning a year-round beanie in […]

The Life I Could Have Lived

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! Cheers fill the brisk 39-degree square, a woman with a microphone starts singing “Auld Lang Syne,” dancing ensues, and fireworks shoot over the historic Gettysburg Hotel. 2015 has fallen into oblivion, and I’m wondering how my life got here. ~ ~ ~ […]

My Parents Don’t Want Me Anymore

“It’s Jack!” they scream, peering into the pickup. “He came back!” I climb out of the truck. “Actually, my name is Tom. Jack was the other guy.” I reintroduce myself to the seven middle school boys I’d met during my training week with Jack and four fellow trainees. I’ve only just started this job in […]

I’m Worthless. I’m Pointless. I’m Hopeless. I’m Pathetic.

What a strange and comforting thing last week to find myself awakening in the same tufted mountains that changed my life three years ago. The differences between that Christian camp of yesteryear and my current youth wilderness therapy program are many, but the pristine setting was the same. We hiked the second tallest mountain in Georgia one sunrise, and I cried […]

I Wanna Be Nasty Like an Inchworm

It is spring, and Charlotte has grown infested with inchworms. It’s like Georgia with ladybugs, only this is worse. Much, much worse. Oh, what’s that? You think inchworms are so cute? The adorable way they arch-and-stretch, arch-and-stretch, arch-and-stretch? You think inchworms are the BEST little wormies? Even better than Wormies by Jana? Oh no, dear reader; you are wrong. You are so wrong. Inchworms […]

Embracing the New “No Collar” in Me

I’ve always been a huge Survivor fan. Though my fanfare has waned in recent years, the grandfatherly reality show remains compelling to me. This current season has pitted a tribe of “white collar” people against a tribe of “blue collars” against a tribe of so-called “no collars.” We can all envision the suited white collar person indoors and the grimy blue […]

Basking in the Badlands for Billions of Years

The Lakota Indians called it mako sica. French trappers labeled the landscape les mauvaises terres à traverse. Deemed and doomed a literal “bad land,” this devastating terrain made farming and traversing — even existing — a difficult if not impossible feat. And so the Badlands were born; millenia later, the Badlands remain. Driving through the endless prairies of southwestern South Dakota, you wouldn’t see […]

Seattle Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be

DAY 38: I’d just reentered America after two weeks in the Great White North. I cruised southward down the 5 with a sizzling anticipation unlike any other #RunningTo stop to this point. In many ways, my first month on the road had been leading up to this. The Space Needle emerged, Seattle’s distinct skyline unfurling like a blanket in […]

I’m Not at Camp this Summer

It didn’t fully hit me until two nights ago: I’m not at camp this summer. I remember feeling the weight of this strange reality early into last summer’s decision not to return to Camp Ridgecrest. Later in the summer, however, I remedied the restlessness of the situation by working and volunteering at not one, but two local camps. This summer is […]

#RunningTo FAQ

Throughout my crazy #RunningTo road trip, I’ve been connecting with so many incredible people. The reaction and reception, both online and off, have been fueling me forward. I’m honestly thrilled that so many of y’all are thrilled. After living on the road for over a month now, a few commonly asked questions have arisen. So, I thought I’d take this opportunity to […]

Why I’m Sad and Why I Might Run Away

I don’t often “vent” on this blog. I usually reserve such emotional outpourings for my journal. Or if I’m feeling courageous enough, with a trusted individual or two. To all who have personally suffered amid the snotty sniffling presence of a Tom-meltdown, I vigorously apologize. In these two-plus years of blogging, I’ve often considered the […]

INPUT: My #3 “Strengths Finder” Strength

This is the third in a five-part series on Strengths Finder, a fantastic resource from Gallup that helps people realize their strengths. Our culture seems obsessed on exposing our flaws and weaknesses and how we can “improve” by altering or even reversing those traits. But Strengths Finder is all about uncovering your innate strengths and building those virtues. I’ve […]

One Word 365: Closing 2012 and Christening 2013

Happy 2013! I’m certain nobody — on the Internet especially — has wished you a happy new year yet. So let me be the first to wish such gleeful tidings upon you. Even though we’re now a week into this new year. Better late than never, right? For faithful followers of my blog, y’all know […]

Dear YouthWorks Milwaukee Students:

Hey guys. It’s me. No, not the bearded, guitar-toting one. Not the crazy one. And no, not the one who made you cry on a nightly basis during Club. The other one. I apologize to my fellow YouthWorks Milwaukee staff for these incriminating labels. But, uh, back to you guys. I miss you. Each and […]

EDEN-APPLE-HEART: My Heart (Part 3 of 3)

This is the final post in a three-part series. If you missed the first two parts, check out My Eden and My Apple first. This has been a fun series of posts — both to write my story and to hear yours. I was so inspired by all the feedback from Part 2, and I […]

Rediscovering Purpose: Field Trip!

I haven’t enjoyed many great days since returning to California in August. Three months removed from the summer, and I’m still very much readjusting to the new emotional weight I’ve either gained or lost. Either way, my waistline sure feels funky as I struggle to locate the right belt-hole. Fortunately, a couple great days have […]