Healthy Rest / Unhealthy Rest

I spent an extended weekend at my parents’ watching their dog while they were out of town. It was an isolating few days but also quite restful/productive. I use both adjectives, because they’re significant.

Usually I’m either productive. Or I rest.

Not both. Together.

Learning to do both and do both well has been an insane struggle.

Either I work and work and work and work —

— or I’m just burnt out from all the work. I feel overwhelmed or underappreciated, and the “rest” I seek out is anything but rejuvenating or healthy. I often follow the compunction toward “unhealthy rest” — oversleeping, skipping workouts, not writing, or watching things online I shouldn’t.

Ah, “healthy rest” — the best kind. The only kind in the true sense of the word.

Such healthy rest can include a little extra sleep or Netflix binging, sure. But I’m realizing healthy rest also bleeds into my productivity.

“Healthy productivity” — that’s a thing, too. Not just being productive from a sense of duty, distracting-distracting-distracting your heart, but producing from a well-stewarded overflow.

Incorporating rest not just after but into my productivity — this is the magic.

I did so much work at my parents’. I edited a video. I published a newsletter. I responded to many emails. I scheduled some events. I led a group video call with my Patreon supporters. I planned my new ministry/group in Asheville (another blog for another time).

And through it all, I didn’t — don’t — feel exhausted. I didn’t gorge on unhealthy rest.

I caught up on a favorite show. I watched the Super Bowl by myself. I did a YouTube workout. I walked and ran my parents’ overweight dog around the house multiple times. I slept normal hours.

It was good. It was all very good, actually: the productivity and the rest and this mysterious swirl of restful productivity.

Now I’m back in Asheville, continuing this same swirl tonight amid the best blogging rhythm of my life. I couldn’t wait to drop off my things and head out to the local late-night coffee shop to write this blog.

Soon, I’ll return home and get to bed early. And we’ll go again tomorrow.

I don’t know why I choose healthy rest some times and unhealthy rest for others. Healthy rest is so much better. I feel better. I look better. I’m not sluggish or gross or guilty. I don’t feel trapped in an unnecessary pit that I dug for myself, which then only hinders my productivity, which then only hinders my rest, which only —

I feel rested. And productive. Both. Together. An unnameable feeling that Eden must have felt like for a while.

I want to chase this combination further. I want to learn more about the why’s of this combination. Why now? Why not other times? What am I doing right? What could be better?

(Yay counseling.)

I’ll report back later with my findings — you know, as I find them.

Until then — it’s time to shut the laptop and lean into this healthy rest. Or . . . is this productivity?