Journeys of a Wandering Wordsmith
Journey with me on my blog!
The Joys and Challenges of Traveling Solo Across Alaska
Here's a multi-faceted realization I've found in recent years: I absolutely love to travel solo — and most people absolutely do not. Traveling solo doesn't daunt me; indeed, it ignites something primal and wondrous in me. Comparing myself to how most other people travel, though, is another mountain: Why are they not like me? Why am I not at all like them?
Four Seasons of America; Four Seasons of My Soul
Now months removed from this trip, I look back and notice something of a correlation with both the climate of these diverse corners of America and also the climate of my soul as I encountered each one...
The Year I Don't Wanna Look Back On (Again)
I don't want to look back on this year. Who would? This year was awful. This year made no sense. Much like its evil stepsister year before, this year isn't one I want to relive. Like, ever. And yet we are doomed to repeat history if we do not learn from it. It's true of societies, and it's true of individuals. As much as I want to forget most of 2021, I also want to learn from 2021 – desperately. The missteps. The failures. The doom. The gloom. What a tragedy for me – for you, for all of us – to enter 2022 or 2023 or 2087 and not learn a thing from 2021.
To Watch the Storms of My Sadness
Gluggavedur, "window-weather," is the notion of watching a storm from afar. Of being safely indoors, warm and secure, while the storm brews on the horizon. Lightning, swirling clouds, and rain – all seen through a pane of glass. The concept can be taken metaphorically, too, to separate yourself from your swirling emotions within. Of creating a space between you and the storms: sadness, anger, stress, fear, etc. Of not ignoring these hard feelings, but being aware of them, watching them from the other side of the glass...until they eventually pass.
This Monster Needs to Die
"The Social Dilemma" has some cheesy, dramatic elements to it, sure. A little overkill at times. But I do recommend everyone see the film. After watching it, I don't necessarily want to delete all my social media accounts, as I do view social media as part of my "job," so to speak. However, I do significantly want to change my approach to social media: how much I use it, when I use it, etc. Especially in relation to my "real-life" relationships without screens attached.
'Twas the Night Before Treatment
Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I set out on a new quest. A new quest within an already new journey of the last couple months – this unforeseen journey with an autoimmune disease. Tomorrow begins this new quest for healing and recovery. Remission. Or so I hope.
I Am Not in Control
I have control issues. I have known this about myself for a little while now. Counseling has helped me see it more clearly, though I feel I've known this for many years prior. I don't like being at the mercy of my circumstances. Especially the mercy of another human.
Sexy Changing in the Staying
Traveling changes a man, certainly. It's what draws me to the road and the skies, again and again. The blaze of colors to my exterior and interior alike. But staying put changes a man, too, I'm better realizing. It's not as sexy. Not as readily apparent sometimes.
The Part Where I Get to Have Faith
These last couple years, I've fielded more doubts than ever before, not due to any personal tragedy or spiritual apathy, but largely due to public figures and friends alike walking away from Jesus. This same Jesus I follow.
Like a Butterfly in an Aquarium
It sounds lovely to be the butterfly, to have the spotted wings and ventures. But oh the process. The waiting and waiting, the changes upon changes one must first endure. There is no zapping to the butterfly stage. I imagine most of us want to be the butterfly but rarely the change required. And not just a singular change but multiple drastic, awkward, even painful changes.
Itch
I'm itching for home. God, I'm itching for regularity again. I'm itching for therapy and CrossFit and training for a marathon and the same coffee shops and writing my third book and building local friendships and taking Your Other Brothers to bold, new frontiers. I'm itching for this road trip to end.
Leave Me Alone
I'm grieving more than just the loss of my grandfather — a hero, a giant, an embodiment of God's love. I'm grieving all relational brokenness. I'm grieving human death for the first time, yes, but I'm also grieving everything else that separates humanity. Divorce, war, disagreement, misunderstanding, vitriol. Friends who aren't friends anymore.
A World Without Ahh
"I hope you have a lot of friends one day, Tom." My grandfather spoke these words to me when I was 15. We were in the car as I joined him on his usual run of errands: the bank, pharmacy, post office. It's strange referring to him as "my grandfather" — he was always just "Ahh" to me. Even stranger now to think of him in the past tense. My grandfather, Ahh, died this week.
I'm Tired.
I just attended the second Revoice conference in St. Louis. Several of my fellow authors from Your Other Brothers also attended, and we'll have a full recap/conversation coming to our site next week. But for now, I wanted to shed some more personal thoughts on the conference and my life-on-the-road at large. The main one being: I'm tired.
Joy Terrifies Me
It's so clear now — something I've always known to be true about me and yet see anew. I'm terrified of joy. Joy just terrifies me. For how fleeting it is.
Nothing Makes Sense (And the C Chord Lingers Still)
I don't know where this particular tune in time is taking me. I hear a lot of silence right now. Resolution feels far off. The last note lingers, and I want to hear the final sound.
My Weird Little Introverted Internet Life
Like, this is actually my life now. Meeting folks from the Internet wherever I go. Near and far and down the street. I mean, I've lived this life for years now. I'm not oblivious to it. I'm just feeling it really strongly today. Realizing I hardly translate my weird little introverted Internet life to others.
Waking Up from a Thousand What Isn'ts
Being present. I find it so difficult. Perhaps my greatest challenge. I entertain a thousand fantasies on any given day. Many of them "harmless." Or maybe not. A move to this city. A quick wandering to that one. Staying here in the Blue Ridge the rest of my life. Leaving tomorrow. Old friends, new friends.
Gravity Is Pulling You and Me and All of This Down
He is God. He is here. He has shown up. There is nowhere we can go, be it among the Biltmore sunflowers or on a lonely college road, void of God's presence. Are we blind? Are we just not seeing him?
