Journeys of a Wandering Wordsmith
Journey with me on my blog!
After Helene: And the Leaf Still Holds
Walking out your front door, you rarely consider how different life will be when you return home. When you walk back through that door. Like a portal, you leave one home behind ... and return to another altogether. On September 21, I left Asheville for a road trip to visit family and friends across Pennsylvania. On October 2, I returned home to a hellscape like nothing I'd ever seen.
Do You See Me?
I did what You asked, I built what You told me to build, and it literally collapsed. So now what? Are You even there anymore? I feel the strain in Nathanael's voice. The wavering. A desperate pleading to be seen.
This Monster Needs to Die
"The Social Dilemma" has some cheesy, dramatic elements to it, sure. A little overkill at times. But I do recommend everyone see the film. After watching it, I don't necessarily want to delete all my social media accounts, as I do view social media as part of my "job," so to speak. However, I do significantly want to change my approach to social media: how much I use it, when I use it, etc. Especially in relation to my "real-life" relationships without screens attached.
Prisoner of Hope
Oh, the freedom to no longer hope in anything far off. To forget the future and, perhaps, attain a greater ability to live in this present. It hurts to hope, I've been learning (groaning) through adulthood. It hurts to hope for things, only to see them fall flat – or, worse, fall further.
Broken Belonging
Looking back on the last 16 years, I see that "takes too much effort" excuse as an easy out. Digging deeper, I see something else blocking my pursuit of church membership: my self-worth. Surprise, surprise; it's my single biggest struggle. Am I worthy of church membership? What do I even have to offer the church?
This Chasm of Calling
On the one hand, I'm thrilled. I've never been more passionate in my calling as a storyteller. And yet on the other hand, the more I discover my God-given passions, talents, and deep gladness, the more burdened grows my soul; the more hungry, my heart. I feel the strain in the disconnect between what I want and what I believe God wants for me and others in this chasm of the not yet.
God I Hate People
For all the headaches other humans have caused me, Lord knows I've caused the same (and worse) in others. But we're different. We come from different families and cultures. We're all motivated differently. We want and need different things to sustain us, day by day. Okay. I get it now. Now, how can we unite? Around Whom can we follow a common path?
When Jesus Slides Into the Shadows
Before you even know it, Jesus slid into the shadows long ago. You thought he was still there. Like he's always been. Like he always will be...right? But if we don't intentionally keep Jesus atop our bookshelf...I think the Father is willing to let us turn other pages. To let us wander without for a bit.
This Isn't Real Life
When real life gets hard and messy and not as it should be, I have an inner sanctum I return to, again and again. One rotted by dopamine-laced falsities.
Nothing Makes Sense (And the C Chord Lingers Still)
I don't know where this particular tune in time is taking me. I hear a lot of silence right now. Resolution feels far off. The last note lingers, and I want to hear the final sound.
End of Year Emo Blizzard
As 2018 winds down, I find myself in my most emotionally raw, volatile state of the year, probably ever. The North Carolina skies opened with a blizzard this week, and how I wanted this snowy downpour to cleanse it all away.
A Man of God I Am Not
Upstream, of course. I've always been swimming upstream. Against the current. The current of sexuality. The current of introversion. The current of inferiority. The current of separation. The current of brokenness and deficiency. The current of not being quite enough of a man, if even at all. Let alone a man of God.
City of Macaroons and Broken Dreams
I entered Charlotte with gargantuan hopes. Hopes that wherever I landed after #RunningTo would be the city I'd call home the rest of my life. A city of dreams fulfilled that simultaneously kept adding new ones. I stare at this Queen City skyline with kind of a hopeless sigh. I failed this place.
Gravity Is Pulling You and Me and All of This Down
He is God. He is here. He has shown up. There is nowhere we can go, be it among the Biltmore sunflowers or on a lonely college road, void of God's presence. Are we blind? Are we just not seeing him?
