God I Hate People

People are the best and also the worst. We need them, we delight in them, and yet we hate them.

Or is that just me?

Okay. “Hate” is a strong word. I don’t mean to use it lightly. People do unspeakable evil to their fellow man. That is true hatred.

I don’t hate people. But I do find myself often exasperated by them.

In recent years, I’ve made definite strides in my dealings with people. I’ve grown more patient (thanks, youth work!), and I’ve grown more confident (thanks, Couchsurfing!).

I’ve also felt the headaches twist and deepen.

The Enneagram has given me much grace for my fellow man. I love the Enneagram for all the self-awareness it’s given me, but I love it all the more for the awareness I’ve been gifted for all the other ways of looking at the world.

It’s natural to assume our way of looking at things is the only way, the best way, the no-duh way. Natural to scoff at others who behave or choose something utterly opposed to how we’d behave or what we’d choose.

But what if we’re all just motivated by different things? What if something extremely vital to my wiring doesn’t spark anything in you? Or vice versa?

Of course we’re all gonna choose different paths.

Of course we’re all gonna rub each other the wrong way.

This used to drive my idealist little heart mad. My expectations for friendship and community felt increasingly impossible and one-sided. No other human could live up to this ideal. Nobody wanted what I want and, well, that created many-a-headache.

And for all the headaches other humans have caused me, Lord knows I’ve caused the same (and worse) in others.

But we’re different.

We come from different families and cultures.

We’re all motivated differently.

We want and need different things to sustain us, day by day.

Okay. I get it now.

Now, how can we unite? Around Whom can we follow a common path?

The last couple years have proven some of the most heartbreaking and yet fruitful of my life. Of recognizing headache-inducing differences galore. And also in stepping into supernatural unification.

The Enneagram is great for figuring out what makes us all tick. Big fan. Ask me about it anytime. I love geeking out on all things Enneagram (wings? subtypes? instincts? yes, yes, yes).

But the Enneagram isn’t the Gospel. It may enlighten people, it may ease some headaches. But it doesn’t unify a people. Doesn’t give us all a direction to go. Together.

Jesus doesn’t erase all the headaches either. We certainly have a smorgasbord of denominations to prove that.

All the same, He does say, “Come, follow me.”

And people come.

For centuries, from all corners of the globe, they have come.

And I cannot escape this mystery. How one Man unites humanity like no other human has.

How awesome to have connected with believers of all stripes over the years (thanks, Internet!). Young and old. Married and single. Gay and straight. Presbyterians and Catholics and non-denominationalists. Communion this and baptism that.

Who cares.

I mean, yes, that stuff is important. Sure, it is.

But it’s also not.

Just give me Jesus. Give us Jesus.

Lord, come soon.

Erase our headaches.

Lead us.

Unify us in You.

Give us the will and strength and togetherness to go.

And by Your outstretched hand alone, let us go.

Amen.