I watched Boy Erased the other night, and it messed me up more than any other movie has. As someone walking both a gay and Christian road, a ‘third path’ of sorts, I felt prompted to make this video — not as a film review, but as a difficult check-in.
Unlike countless others I’ve encountered over the years, I never attempted ‘praying the gay away’ as a kid and have largely experienced more struggles with my masculinity than my sexuality. Until now.
What you said was so heartfelt, I want to console you. I wrote down some things that especially struck me.
You feel the loss of a life not lived. That is so real. At my age, having no expectation of having a wife and kids is no big deal, but at yours, it’s major, and you’re brave, as well as faithful, to follow the path to which you are called — giving up wife and family for Jesus’ sake and that of the gospel. For whatever it’s worth, I want to affirm you on the road you have chosen to follow in answer to God’s call.
You feel the weight of the responsibility you have as one who speaks, writes, and makes videos about the way you follow of being both gay and Christian. It may be that some people in your audience will expect you to be sinless, but for every Christian there is paradoxically the call not to sin and the “freedom” to slip and fall and accept God’s merciful forgiveness and get back up and continue the journey. Anybody who expects/demands that you never fall is expecting too much. Your sense of responsibility can be an instrument God uses to help you stay on the right path and to overcome temptations, but don’t allow it to crush you.
I could say more, but this may be enough for now. I love you, brother, and I am sure God is well pleased with all your efforts to follow his will for you. God bless you.