The Hardest Video I’ve Ever Made

I don’t consider myself a videographer. I’m an artist first, a writer second, and somewhere within my inner swirl of creativity there’s room for music and painting and photography and even a little film.

I have a YouTube channel, and I’ve shot/edited/published several videos over the years. Most of them are carefree and spontaneous and wandering-induced and maybe kinda sorta entertaining?

But there a few videos I’ve uploaded over the years that have been much harder to put out there. My Struggle Central book trailer immediately comes to mind, because it was the first time I told the world that a book of messy memoirs was indeed coming that would divulge more than most ever knew about me.

This video made it all too real.

My #RunningTo intro video was an exciting one to release to the masses, but it was also devastating. Because in order to get excited about the new adventure to come, I had to lay to rest the failings and staleness of a life that no longer worked for me. A life that had once induced so much wonder and promise.

Did the wonder and promise run out? Would I rediscover such wonder on the road? So many questions sitting on this Pacific beach in Huntington. So many sandy bristles of doubt.

But my most recent video goes to another level of fear and trepidation. It covers a topic I’ve been burdened to talk about for years now. I’m finally facing my fears — and my addiction — and doing just that.

Head over to Your Other Brothers for the watch. And please feel free to add your own story of addiction to the comments there — if you can be so brave. We need your story.

Remember: the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety or healing. It’s connection.