Retreat. Rest. Recuperate. Repeat.

This past weekend, I joined my new church on a retreat to the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. I’d been looking forward to the lodge getaway for a few weeks.

A chance to connect with some new people in a more intentional setting.

A chance to bask in one of my favorite parts of the continent.

A chance to wander again.

So imagine my dismay when I woke up Friday morning with a scratchy throat. A scratchy throat that escalated to a headache and congestion and fatigue and probably a temperature two ticks above normal.

I felt like a slug all weekend at that lodge. Not even a nasty inchworm, but a comatose slug.

I was a little bitter.

I was a lot bitter, actually. Frustrated by the timing of my illness.

It was supposed to be a fun weekend of wandering and community. Instead, the lodge was turning into my own personal wooden hospital ward.

And then I considered how paradoxical I was making this whole weekend retreat sound.

Calton Lodge; Rutherfordton, NC

True, I could’ve expended more energy had I been at my usual healthy capacity — physical and social energies alike. I could’ve gone on a hike with some people or even stayed up late talking or playing Mario Kart.

But I guess retreats meet everyone in different ways.

It’s hard for some people to rest, I realize. I’m not usually one of those people. My part-time tutoring/writing existence has gifted me lots of extra rest over the years. Save for two insane summer camps, I’ve rarely felt overworked since college.

In recent weeks, though, rest has been hard to find.

I’m waking up at 5am to write my next book.

I’m tutoring at a school for 6 hours every day.

I’m side-tutoring a couple evenings per week.

I’m maintaining this blog.

I’m writing for another blog.

And then I go home at 9pm and crash like a grandpa on Thanksgiving and do it again the next day.

Maybe I got sick last weekend because I’ve been working too hard lately. Or maybe the kids infected me with something; kids do that sometimes, God bless them.

But maybe the only reason I got sick when I did was so a weekend retreat in these magical Blue Ridge Mountains that have already healed me of so many wounds in summers past would replenish me all over again.

A chance to sleep.

A chance to catch up on some neglected reading.

A chance to sleep some more.

A chance to accept multiple rounds of tea when it’s handed me.

A chance to humbly be and not resist.

A chance to repeat. All weekend long.

When’s the last time you took a retreat, either by yourself or with a group? Are you the type of person who needs to force yourself to rest? Are you overdue?

27 Comments

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Rebecka 29 April 2015
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Rest was my One Word 365 last year. I felt I needed to learn how to rest
both physically and in God but I’m still very bad at both, I’m afraid. My
relationship to rest is a strained one. I HAVE TO rest most of the time, if I
don’t I’ll make myself sicker and might end up bedbound and in need of care
24/7. So I do it, but there is so much I’d rather be doing! As a friend of mine
put it “Resting is nice, but not when you’re forced to do it for most of the
day, every day.” I also really need to get better at resting my mind
properly, in silence. I think I trick myself into think I’m resting when I’m
watching TV or when I’m on social media. Sure, my body is still, but my mind is
active. What I need (and I’m guessing I’m not the only one) is to rest in
silence, just listening to God.

JK Riki 28 April 2015
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I am continually drawn back to the Sabbath commandment, time and again. It fascinates me. We, as a society, still hold very tightly to the majority of the 10 Commandments. Stealing is still a no-no, as is adultery and murder. Lying is frowned upon. Modern Christians, if not the rest of the world, still fear worshiping material idols over God (though we- or at least I- often stray on that one when I hold so preciously to “stuff.” Boxes and shelves of it.) The Sabbath command has been set aside, though, for the most part. And yet, I wonder if that’s wise of us.

The human body was made to work and rest. AND, not “or.” We are built in such a way that it is a requirement. A requirement that we’ve discovered we can fudge the specs on. We work more than ever before (which, ironically, was made to be a CURSE not something we’d want to do) and neglect the rest we so desperately need.

I’ve seen instances where God has stepped into my life and taken away my choice to rest or not. No doubt He’s seen what happens if I kept going at the rate I had been. Someone might have died as I was so exhausted that I wasn’t attentive while driving or something, I don’t know. I’ve gotten sick when I’m not sure why- sometimes these things just happen. I’ve also gotten sick when it was flat out apparent that my sickness was necessary to stop my frantic lifestyle. Sometimes I wonder if I had rested, would I not have needed those forced sick days, and as such not gotten those sicknesses? Both from the spiritual side, but also the physical as more rest would have strengthened my immune system most likely. It’s interesting to ponder.

These days I try to schedule in the rest so that I don’t require forced sabbaths. Still, I will humbly ask him to force whatever it is I need to get closer to Him. I’ve lived long enough to know He knows better than I do.

If I don’t listen to the commandment of it all, the sheer fact that being sick means less Mario Kart is a HUGE motivator. 🙂

I’m glad you had a good experience in spite of the illness! He certainly does an amazing job at giving us exactly what we need to keep us moving forward on our journey, eh?

Beth Ewing 28 April 2015
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Sounds familiar. Woke up Saturday morning feeling that itch, on Sunday felt absolutely horrible. Still had to pull 10 hour days filming an indie movie.