I know how to resolve conflict. I’m basically an aficionado of accord, if you will. (And you will.) I mean, “harmony” was my second highest strength on Strengths Finder. I could take a Yankees fan and a Red Sox fan from fist fight to tickle fight by the third inning.
Clearly, peacemaking is my thing. In recent years especially I’ve been refining my own foolproof process. Consider the following post a compilation of my 27 years worth of valued experience in conflict resolution.
How to Resolve Conflict: A 7-Step Process
1. Ignore the situation. I cannot emphasize this first step enough: you must go about your day pretending nothing is amiss. Ignorance is bliss, and it certainly trumps icky involvement. Lo, the conflict shall magically vanish like Cinderella’s carriage at midnight. Only this disappearing act won’t denigrate you into a raggedy peasant girl. Hello, glass slipper; hello, happy ending.
2. Don’t confront the other person. This seems like a repetition of Step 1, but it bears restating. Do not bring up the source of conflict with the other person. Your needless nitpickiness will only exacerbate the problem.
3. Don’t tell a third party. STOP. I know what you’re thinking, and you need to STOP right now. You don’t really want to burden some innocent soul with all your messy mayhem, do you? That’s what I thought; now, put that phone/Internet down.
4. Don’t admit your faults. You are perfect. God’s pristine present for all mankind. Take a look in the mirror and just try to turn away. You have an image to uphold, and you could never be wrong. You Ryan Gosling / Jennifer Lawrence of humanity, you.
5. Admit everything is your fault. Okay, so you’re not exactly perfect. You’re actually quite the royal disaster. Just look in the mirror and try not to turn away. Boy, you really effed this one up.
6. Hope for the best. After successfully not doing anything, you need only wait for the conflictive clouds to part. Maybe cross a finger or toe, but there’s no need to feel antsy. I mean, people win the lottery all the time, right?
7. Be loud. Finally, if ignoring your conflict doesn’t work (and it will), try raising your voice. Yell at the problematic person; yell at anyone. We all know the loudest people are the rightest.
Do these 7 simple steps, and you will instantly fix your conflict and write your own 7-step process for resolving conflict that millions of people will also share around the world.
Am I right or am I right about how to resolve conflict? How do YOU resolve conflict?
