Today I have the extreme honor of guest-posting at one of my favorite blogs on the whole interweb, People of the Second Chance. Below is an excerpt, and you can click the link at the end for the continuation. Would love your comments over there and then your comments back here. And then you do the hokey pokey and that’s what it’s all about.
Though blessed by a fantastic family with loving parents, my journey beyond their front door has been long and treacherous. As an introvert, that’s okay some of the time, if not most. But it’s still hard.
I didn’t have many friends growing up. I was the smart, shy guy in high school. Forced to suffer through acne’s onslaught, I felt overwhelming shame from the attention that came with simply opening my mouth. Of course I wanted friends, but I wanted to be ignored too.
I wasn’t loud enough, athletic enough, funny enough, or vulgar enough for friends. This was my reality. My normal. Needless to say, I was ecstatic to graduate and leave high school’s halls far behind.
Moving into the dorm of a small college drove me to tears, however; I had no idea how to connect with the other guys in my suite or with my fellow students in general. And even after I eventually started experiencing friendship, I felt called to move closer to home after my freshman year. I was simultaneously saddened and relieved to cease the process of relationship-building and the stress that often accompanied it.
Returning home to a large state university, I retreated into a safe, secluded, relationship-less hole. Grades were my thing, not people. Scoring high on tests was how God had gifted me ─ how I found fulfillment. Not with friendship. Not with community. And not with love. I believed I wasn’t good enough for those things.
Read the rest of my post here. What do you feel you’re not “good enough” for?
“Good enough”… I sought that with my dad for so long… I did everything to be “good enough” in his eyes. And even if I acheived that, it still wasn’t good enough because I became obsessed with perfection. I had to be perfect in everything at all times. Thus was born my perfect self image the world saw while I became darker and more currupt inside.
Suffice to say, I’ll never be perfect- that’s why Jesus died for me. Only He is Good Enough and He is just that for me.
Thank you for sharing your story, Tom. You’re such an encouragement and blessing to so many people!
Thanks for sharing, Mitchell. You’re totally right. Only Christ is “good enough,” which by extension makes us “good enough” too. Such a cool mind-bending concept. Thanks for the constant encouragement man. You rawk.