(Un)Thankfulness

It’s Thanksgiving. Actually, it’s the day before Thanksgiving. But I’m not going to post this on Thanksgiving Day because everyone will be eating and sleeping through football and doing plenty of other things not at all related to internet-surfing.

When I thought about what I’d blog for my first Thanksgiving post, I naturally thought about listing what I’m thankful for.

How cute.

But I’m gonna spin that cliche idea just a tad and list what I’m begrudgingly thankful for. And to keep the spin spinning, I’ll also list what I’m abhorrently unthankful for. Because I might as well shoot straight with you and tell you the whole thankful/unthankful story.

You’re welcome. Because I know you’re already thankful for this post.

Okay, let’s get this (un)thank-fest rolling!

• Begrudging Thanks: For rainy days that force me to stay indoors but actually inspire me to write more and write better.
• Abhorrent Unthanks: For that giant puddle accumulating at the bottom of my apartment complex’s staircase. Quit trying to act like our pool.

• Begrudging Thanks: For a fantastic job at a middle school despite the headaches that often ensue from dozens of screaming 7th and 8th graders.
• Abhorrent Unthanks: For this one student’s bizarre assertion that I look like Jim Carey. Frankly, I’m a little insulted, but at least she didn’t compare me to Adam Sandler — the male or female version.

• Begrudging Thanks: For Michael Scott leaving The Office as new regional manager Andy Bernard shines.
• Abhorrent Unthanks: For NBC’s temporary benching of Community while Whitney continues onward. INSANE.

• Begrudging Thanks: For purple. You’ve grown on me, you sly, surprisingly soothing, stereotypically feminine color, you.
• Abhorrent Unthanks: For yellow. Nothing good is colored yellow. Except maybe the sun. But you can’t even look at it long enough to tell whether it’s really yellow or if the government’s just telling us that.

• Begrudging Thanks: For the Old Testament. You can be really boring sometimes, but lately you’ve been more meaningful than ever. Ezra, Jonah, Moses, David, Abraham — heart you guys. Let’s hit up a drum circle in eternity.
• Abhorrent Unthanks: For Satan, since I can’t really assert any other Bible-related unthanks. But Satan’s always a good one for this category. Good meaning bad, of course. Uh. Moving on.

• Begrudging Thanks: For my high school English teachers who unwittingly set me on this story-adorned path which I now trod.
• Abhorrent Unthanks: For Robinson Crusoe, which almost made me give up on reading forever.

• Abhorrent Unthanks: For November and the trials this month has put me through over the years.
• Begrudging Thanks: For November and the blessings which have somehow blossomed from disaster.

Happy Thanksgiving, my readers and friends.

Got anything you’re begrudgingly thankful or abhorrently unthankful for this Thanksgiving?